You May Be A Farmer's Wife If . . .

You may be a farmer's wife if: * You call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice. * The vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone. * Your second vehicle is still a pickup. * Your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your lawn. * A night out involves the local 4-H club. * You've ever washed the kids or the dishes with a pressure washer. * Picking rock is considered a chance to get out of the house. * Taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic. * You can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them. * The shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells. * You ever went on a date to the rodeo. * The directions to your house include the words miles, silos, last, or gravel road. * Lacey or Frilly is a farm animal but not your nightgown. * Being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer. * Your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can't find your husband. * You plan your vacations around farm shows. * Eva Gabor is on your list of Most Admired Persons. * Quality time with your hubby means you'll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other. * Sharing a cab has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field. * No one, not even a stranger or farm editor, leaves your house without eating something. * You're equally adept at helping with your children's math homework or the complicated spreadsheets that detail every item bought, sold or misplaced on the farm for the past 10 years. * You have the patience of Job, the wisdom of Solomon, the tenacity of a bulldog, and the good nature of Mother Teresa. * You can deliver a calf, drive a combine, cook dinner for a half-dozen hired hands and still make time to pick the kids up from soccer practice. * You're equally at home at a PTA meeting or in session with a commodity association committee. * On Thanksgiving Day, you have to decide which pet to eat.